


THE LORD AND THE PRINCE

by phidari



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Art, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, M/M, Multimedia, One Shot, POV Third Person, Pesterlog, gif warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-13
Updated: 2013-06-13
Packaged: 2017-12-14 20:11:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/840904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phidari/pseuds/phidari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Caliborn does some story-telling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	THE LORD AND THE PRINCE

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fill for [this prompt](http://hs-worldcup.dreamwidth.org/3493.html?thread=1073573#cmt1073573) in Bonus Round 1 of the Homestuck Shipping World Cup.
> 
> Contains minor spoilers for the 6/12/13 update.

THERE ONCE WAS A GREAT AND POWERFUL LORD. HE WAS KNOWN AND FEARED ALL THROUGHOUT THE KINGDOM. FOR RULING WITH AN IRON GRIP. HE EVEN HAD A SCEPTER. AS LORDLY TYPES DO. HE USED IT TO DISPLAY HIS MANLY POWER. AND TO BEAT DISLOYAL SUBJECTS. TO DEATH.

THIS LORD HAD A NAME. BUT WE WILL NOT SPEAK IT. WE WILL OBFUSCATE HIS IDENTITY. AND REFER TO HIM WITH ONLY AN EPITHET. AS IS THE WAY OF "FAIRY TALES".

ONCE THE LORD HAD A SISTER. BUT SHE WAS STUPID. AND SO SHE DIED. AND ALL THE KINGDOM REJOICED.

FUCK HIS SISTER.

NO. NOT LIKE THAT. YOU SICKO.

STILL. THE YOUNG AND PERFECT LORDLING. FELT AS THOUGH AN EPHEMERAL SOMETHING. WERE MISSING FROM HIS LIFE. SOMETHING IMPORTANT. SOMETHING.

INTERPERSONAL.

HE OFTEN PONDERED THIS SOMETHING. AS HE WANDERED THE HALLS. OF HIS PALACE. BUT WHAT COULD IT BE???

HOWEVER. ONE DAY. A TRAVELING PRINCE ARRIVED IN THE LORD'S KINGDOM. HE HAD COME FROM A FARAWAY LAND. SEEKING THE ULTIMATE RIVAL.

THE LORD MET WITH THE PRINCE. OUTSIDE HIS CASTLE.

THE PRINCE WAS VERY HAUGHTY. HE BELIEVED THE LORD WAS NO MATCH FOR HIM. HE BELIEVED. THAT HE WAS THE COOLEST MOTHERFUCKER AROUND. AND THAT NONE COULD BEST HIM. HE WAS WRONG, OF COURSE. BUT LET'S NOT GET AHEAD OF OURSELVES. LET'S ALLOW THIS DUDE TO BASK IN HIS WRONGNESS. FOR JUST A LITTLE WHILE LONGER. IT WILL MAKE HIS INEVITABLE DEFEAT. THAT MUCH MORE PLEASING.

THE LORD AND PRINCE. ENGAGED IN STRIFE. TO SEE WHO WOULD EMERGE VICTORIOUS. IT WAS A GLORIOUS BATTLE. THAT LASTED FOR MANY SECONDS.

TO NOBODY'S SURPRISE. THE LORD WAS THE VICTOR. HE EASILY PREVAILED OVER THE PRINCE. WITH HIS SUPERIOR MIGHT.

THE LORD TOWERED OVER HIS FALLEN OPPONENT. AND CROWED VICTORIOUSLY. "YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD DEFEAT ME." SAID THE LORD. "BUT YOU WERE WRONG. AND NOW. YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES. FOR ALL TIME."

HAA HAA HAA HAA HEE HEE HEE HEE HOO HOO HOO HAA HAA HEE HEE

TT: Are you done?  
uu: WHAT? NO. I WAS JUST GETTING TO THE GOOD PART.  
TT: Yeah, well, I'm getting bored.   
TT: You do know the only reason I'm talking to you is I can't block you, right? Not exactly the best basis for a weird alien caligimance or whatever it is you're looking for here.  
uu: ANYWAY. THE STORY ENDS. WITH THE PRINCE COMING TO ACCEPT HIS RIGHTFUL PLACE. AS THE LORD'S LESSER. AND SERVING AS HIS LOYAL VASSAL. FOR ALL ETERNITY.  
TT: Sounds pretty out of character.  
uu: FUCK YOU.  
TT: Whoa, now this story's getting interesting.  
uu: YES. YOU UNDERSTAND NOW.  
uu: THIS STORY IS NOT ONLY INTERESTING. IT IS THE COMPLETE AND UTTER TRUTH. YOU WILL KNEEL BEFORE ME. AND THAT IS WHY. I HAVE NOT JUST OUTRIGHT KILLED YOU.  
uu: EVEN THOUGH I TOTALLY COULD.  
TT: Man, whatever you say.


End file.
